PROFITS 2167's train dystopia enters Early Access

The full title is PROFITS 2167: Planetary Resource Optimization & Freight Infrastructure Technician Simulator, which is the joke already working. The short version: an arcade train game that crosses tower defense with incremental progression, out in Early Access on Steam as of August 17, launched as part of the Ukrainian Games Festival.

You drive the train yourself—traction and braking are manual—while hauling ore out of an asteroid operation, fending off the local fauna, and reinvesting every load into infrastructure that makes the next run louder and more demanding. It's wrapped in Y2K techno and the cheerful cruelty of corporate self-talk. By 2167, the fiction goes, billions of humans sit in corporate-managed stasis, their biological processing power rented out as distributed compute, and the acronym LLM has been rewritten as "Labor Liquidation Machines."

Early Access ships a handcrafted five-level campaign of about four hours for $6.99, with the full release planned for 2027. For the record: the Steam page of this particular AI satire carries no AI-generated-content disclosure of its own.

The developer is Simple Software Solutions; the publisher is Marevo Collective, the studio behind the cult retro horror No One Lives Under the Lighthouse—a pedigree that explains the confidence of the tonal swerve from lighthouse dread to middle-management hell. Workplace satire built out of bureaucratic verbs has a long lineage in games: after Papers, Please, Lucas Pope turned a bureaucratic eye toward junk mail, and PROFITS 2167 reads like that tradition sped up to techno tempo: the spreadsheet as survival horror, the quarterly target as boss fight.