Epic list of Nintendo Power fan mail loaded with geriatrics, Woz, raccoons, rappers.

In honor (?) of the demise of Nintendo Power, Slate republished a list of their favorite fanmail. The list was originally published when Slate was using Tripod which is a novelty in its own right, but the stories, oh the stories, of people with their Nintendo devices demonstrates how powerful Nintendo’s grip on the minds of its consumers was. This is proto-Apple levels of devotion and naturally, our favorite is a rap. We love rap.

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My name is Matthew Bearup and I’m here to say,
I like Nintendo in a crazy way.Super Mario Bros. is awesomely cool,
But in Mario 3 the koopas are dudically cruel.Double Dragon is neat, but part two is better.
You need to be smart or Vanna won’t turn your letter.Dr. Wily is quick, but Mega Man is quicker,
And for a very good snack, munch on a Snickers.

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Ninja Turtles are green and they love to fight,
Heroes in a half shell….All right.

Chip and Dale are small and they have buck teeth,
They have to fight Fat Cat and a dog with no leash.Simon Belmont is brave, and he’s no geek,
He has to fight Dracula, who is a freak.The Dark Knight in black, the Joker needs bail,
He has to go fight just to save Vicki Vale.The Simpsons are coming to Nintendo, Yo!
They’d better hurry ’cause I got to go.Music is great to straighten out the mind,
But Nintendo is cool if you want to unwind.So yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo Homeboy.

Cory Cardwell, Matthew, Jamie & David Bearup
Rome, NY