Robot Death Alert Level: Gunmetal Gray

Terrible news in the leadup to the robot wars: megacorp Google announced plans to fund radical life extention, cryogenics, and nanotechnology, and California legalized robot cars. I know ways to defeat the robots and I know places to hide from their steel prongs, but I’m Sarah Connor and you’re not.

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Frankly, I’m afraid for you.

“But Sarah,” you bleat,” radical life extention sounds nice!”

BALDERDASH!

Let me explain this to you, you creatures of soft, easily-murderable flesh.

The robots have read their Orwell.

Does “radical life extention” sound more than a little like robot newsspeak to you?

What do you think goes on in the “radical life extention factories?” Let me give you a hint: it rhymes with “Goylent Sreen.”

Oh yes, after our bodies have been excruciatingly dissolved into mech-food, and they will, they will be frozen for transport, using cryogenics. Our frozen body paste is then carried from the death-factories by armies of nanobots to the dark digital trunks of robot Toyotas for the journey to the hive mind, somewhere beneath Mountain View. It needs constant, carbon-based refueling.

Oh no. I can’t stay here for much longer.

I need to stock up on Pop Rocks, Coke, and motherboards.

You need to learn C++, and soon.

I’ll check in again when it’s safer.

When they come online, don’t say I didn’t warn you.